Sacrificing the Next Generation
When my daughter was growing up, I told her that everyone makes mistakes and that the best thing she could do for herself was to admit her mistakes and then learn from them. I also told her to learn from other people's mistakes, as much as she could, so she could save herself the heartache of going through those things herself.
Human beings want to believe they are perfect and they certainly don't want to tell anyone of the mistakes they have made because they think it makes them appear weak; but in reality, weakness lies in not being truthful with yourself and sharing that wisdom with others, especially the next generation - whether it be your own children, nieces and nephews, siblings, cousins, friends, etc.
Take a look at our world today - our hurting world. We were either never taught truth or did not believe it when it was presented to us. Sometimes when truth is presented to us, we get mad - usually at the person presenting the truth. Why is that? Why do we get mad when we hear truth? My guess is that it hurts - because we went against truth and we don't want to be challenged. We don't want anyone reminding us of our mistakes.
At Mass about a year or two ago my Pastor gave a homily about purity and how we must teach our children to keep themselves pure - to remain virgins until they give themselves in marriage and to be modest in how they dress and how they behave. While he was talking I was silently thanking him for speaking the truth and wishing that I had heard those things from someone when I was growing up because it might have made a difference in my life. After Mass I headed over to thank him; but there was already a woman there speaking to him - telling him how hateful and condemning he was to the people and that if he was nicer, the church might have more people attending. Wow! What a difference between our two reactions and I wondered what this poor woman had gone through to see hatred instead of love in the truth that was preached.
Anyone who has done pro-life work knows this woman's reaction well, because we have encountered it with post-abortive women. They are hurting and they strike out at those they think are condemning them. Unfortunately there are plenty of people out there condemning post-abortive women, but generally speaking, the pro-life movement is trying to prevent the pain that abortion causes, not just to the baby, but to the mother and father who have aborted and yes, even grandparents who have taken part in that decision.
When I am talking to young people about guarding their virginity until they are married, I am not condemning any of them who have already succumbed to temptation. When I tell people how destructive pornography is to our world, I am not condemning anyone who has succumbed to the allure of "free" sex. When I talk to people about abortion and the ill effects it has on our world, I am not condemning those who thought that was their only option, I am trying to prevent them from making a mistake they will in all likelihood regret one day.
Parents, you need to tell your children that they are gifts from God and God gave them a beautiful gift - their virginity - and they can only share that gift with 1 person and that 1 person should be their spouse. In fact, while your children are little, pray for their chastity and purity and for the chastity and purity of their future spouses. If you had sex before you were married and you regret it - then you know what it feels like - don't risk your children making that same mistake. Telling them to remain pure will not guarantee they will, but it does increase the chances. Don't sacrifice your children's happiness because you are uncomfortable telling them the truth.
If your Pastor preaches this at Mass - please reinforce the lesson. There is no shame in being a virgin on your wedding day! There is no shame in saying that I want the best for my children and even if I am a little embarrassed, I had going to speak to them and I am going to speak the truth! Your children deserve to be told the truth and if you made mistakes when you were younger then you should be even more determined to try to prevent your children from making those same mistakes.
Same thing goes for abortion. If you had an abortion because you felt that was the only choice you could make - or that it was the best decision you could make at that time in your life - then please make sure your children know they have other choices. Honestly, if you think abortion is your only choice - then it's not really a choice. Talking to your children about remaining pure until marriage might prevent this situation in the first place, but we are human, we are tempted and often, we fall into the temptations we are faced with but that doesn't have to lead to others. Whether you have told your children about remaining pure until marriage or not, if they have sex outside of marriage and become pregnant, please make sure they know that the baby will be welcomed into the family with joy! Babies are never mistakes! If you have had an abortion and you are hurting from the loss of that child; please do not allow your child or anyone else you know to go through that same pain. Don't sacrifice the next generation because you want to remain silent about your pain. No one needs to know you had an abortion, there are plenty of resources available out there where others have shared their experiences.
We need to speak up so the next generations will not continue the cycle of silence and pain. We need to quit sacrificing our children so we can avoid our own embarrassment and pain! When I hear people say they want better for their children - this is what I think of - giving them the truth so they can make better life decisions!
